Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Aaj ki ladkiyaa…

If v treat her nice she says “yaar mujhe line de raha hai”
If v dont she says “kitna akarta hai”
If v dress nicely she says “mujhe impress karna chahta hai”
If v dont she says “tasteless hai yaar”
If v argue with her she says “ziddi hai”
If v sit quietly she says “dumb hai”
If v act smarter she’ll lose her brain as u r insulting her
If she acts smarter she thinks its her right
If v dont love her she says “is ka to pehle se hi 2,3 ladkiyon ka saath chakkar hai”
If v love her she says “peechhe hi pad gayaa hai”
If v dont tell her ur prob she says ” u r not honest 2 me”
If u do tell to her she says “u r a problem child”
If v scold her she says “you act like a grandpa giving lecture”
If she scolds us she says “Yaar, its becoz i care”
If v break a promise she says “She does not trust u any more”
If she breaks she says “jaan main majboor thi….
ladkiyan re ladkiyan . .
bechare boys itna sab sehke bhi chup chap rehte

Siti Mari


Ram ne Dhanush Toda,
Sita Daud Ke Aayi.
Kishan Ne Bansuri Bajayi,
Aur Radha Bhag ke chali Aayi.
Aur Humne sirf Siti Mari,
Sali Baap ko Le Aayi.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bole wo DOSTI,
Chup rahe wo PYAR.
Milaye wo DOSTI,
Juda karaye wo PYAR.
Hasaye wo DOSTI,
Rulaye wo PYAR.
Phir bhi log DOSTI chhod kr kyun karte hai PYAR???
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tum kya kisike dil ke humdard banoge Tum to uske dil ko aur dukhaoge
Tum kya kisiki Tanhaiyan mitaoge Tum to uski mehefilen bhi ujadoge HUM
TO BASAYE BAITHE THE TUMEN DIL MEIN APNI DHADKAN BANAKE KYA KHABAR THI
HUMMEN KE TUM SENE MEIN KHANJHAR GHOP KE JAOGE :( !!

Har Nazar


Har Nazar me ek Kashish hoti hai,
Har Dil me ek Chahat hoti hai,
Mumkin nahi har ek ke liye TAJ MAHAL banana,
Kyunki har dil mein 4 -5 MUMTAJ hoti hai.

------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
Arz kiya hai...
Moorkh tha Shahjahan jo kar gaya kharcha
itna taj par,
har roj nayi mutaz aa jati us kharche ke byaj par...
wah wah

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Khudaa jab husn deta hai
nazaakat aaa hi jati hai
Kadam chun chun kar rakhti ho
kamar balkha hi jaati hai..

Some Messege

Dil par hamlo tayo ne dil tuti gayu.
koi k che k manobal khuti gayu
khoti buma bum che doctroni
aa to tame yadd aaya ne bicharu dhabkaro chuki gayu.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Prem-Patel no
Reet-Rajput ni
Ashro-Aahir no
Roop-Braman nu
Vepar-Vaniya no
Stuti-Shivaji ni
Kaleju-Kathiyavad nu

Ne
Dosti

E TO BAPU MAARI j HOo....
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Prem su 6 e na pucho to saru
Sachvo to amrut 6 
piyo to zaher 6 
Har raat 1 mitho ujagro 6 
Aankh ane nindar ne sam-same ver 6 ANU NAM J PREM 6.

Jo… Jo… Hasta Nhi ! ! Part II

Mane Loko Kahe Chhe..Ke Maari Shu Dasha Chhe,
Hu Kahu Chhu..Ke Prem Ma Padavani Aa Saza Chhe,
Vikharayela Vaal…Aankho Hase Chhe Ke Rade Che,
Kasoor Be-wafai No Nathi..Mohabbat Ni Aa Mazaa Chhe.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nayan ma Vasya Che Jara yaad karjo,
kadi kaam pade to yaad karjo,
mane to padi che aadat tamne yaad karwani,
jo hichki ave to maf karjo..............
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sparsh na pushpo khile chhe swash ma
Dhadkano gunji rahi chhe viswas ma
Dil na safar no ant kyan hase?
Nayan dode chhe tamari talash ma..
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tu nathi to aa jagat Udas laage che,
Punam ni raatoy mujne aamas laage che;
Anu Anu ma jagatna nihadu chu tane,
nayan ni kiki ma pan taaro vaas laage che

Mix...


Kisi ne dil ko is kadar chu liya ki
hum kisi aur ko chu na sake!
Hum to chale the Dost banane aur
wo Dhadkan ban baithe!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mere marne ke baad mere doston,
yu aansoo na bahana,
Agar meri yaad aaye to,
sidhe upar chale aana!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------


Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho.....
Itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho.....
Kitni aasani se Jaan le lete ho.....
Kisi ne sikhaya hai...
ya bachpan se hi kamine ho ?
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Duaon ki bhid me ek dua hamari hogi...
Jisme Mangi hamne har khushi tumhari hogi...
jab bhi koi dastak Sunai de dil pe...
samjho dua kabul hui hamari hogi..

Thoda Hatke

Mat pee sharab galib mazjid mein baith kar,
Mat pee sharab galib mazjid mein baith kar,
Ek hi botal hai kahin khuda na mang le. 

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bewafa sanam se to cigarette achi hai,
Bewafa sanam se to cigarette achi hai,
Dil jalati hai, par hoto se to lagti hai.

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------

 Aur bhi cheezen bahut si lut chukin hain dil kei saath,
Yeh batayaa doston nei ishq furmanei kei baad.
Ab kamre ki ek ek cheez check karta hoon mai,
Ek tere aane se pehley ek tere jaane kei baad.
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jise dil diya woh dilli chali gayi,
Jise pyar kiya woh
italy chali gayi,
Dil ne kahaa khud kushi kar le jalim,
Bijali ko haath lagaya to bijali chali gayi. 

Funny

Sardar-why r all these people running?
Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why r others running?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning.
Sardarji replied "Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM".
 -------------------------------------------------------------------------
A customer sat down at a table in a very exclusive restaurant and tied a napkin around his neck. The restaurant owner was a bit taken aback at this because it was attracting unfavorable reactions from the other customers.
So, he called a waiter and instructed him, "Try to make him understand, as tactfully as possible, that that's not done here."
Said the thoughtful waiter to the customer: "Pardon me , sir. Shave or haircut sir?" 

Sardar two

Jaat riding a cycle, hits a Girl.
Girl: Ghanti nahin mari jaati kya?
Jaat: Re bawli?! Poori cycle maar di, aab ghanti alag se maaru ke?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
 Sam: Would you punish me for some thing i didn't do?
Teacher: no, of course not.
Sam: good, because i didn't do my homework. 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
A SARDAR went 2 a BANK to open a S.B. A/C. 
After seeing the Form he went to DELHI for filling up. U know y?
FORM say " FILL UP IN CAPITAL ". 

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Teacher lecturing on population - In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!. 

Sardar

A sardar invested 2 Lakhs in a business and Suffered huge Loss. 
Do u know what the business was?
. . . . . . . . . . . . 

He opened a Saloon in Punjab!.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sardarji opens his lunch box in the middle of the road....
why?
Just to confirm whether

 he is going to or coming back from the office....
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Once a sardar calls another sardar on the phone 
and says "Hi, Main Bol Raha Hoon".
The other sardar replies "Kamaal Hain, 

Ithe Vi Main Bol Raha Hoon!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A Sardar & his wife filed an application 4 Divorce.
Judge asked: How'll U divide, U"VE 3 children?
Sardar replied: Ok! We"ll apply NEXT YEAR....

*GERMS *

Teacher: What r the people of Turkey called?
Student: I don't know.


Teacher: They r called Turks, now What r the people of Germany called?
Student: They r called Germs.

* STUPID*

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, little Santa Singh stood up.

The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Santa?" >

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!" >

LIVE CHAT